Measure Twice Cut Once Or Maybe Not At All

There is a construction term that says:

Measure Twice, Cut Once

The plan is to take the extra effort in the planning phase so you don't have to risk making multiple cuts or possibly destroying something that can not be easily repaired.

I suggest we adapt this sage advice as follows:

Think Twice, Speak Wisely or NOT AT ALL.

You/We have a right to freedom of speech but we DO NOT have the right to intentionally destroy others.

I challenge you to sincerely think and think again about the intentions of your words.

Consider this question?

Why am I voicing my opinion to this person/audience, in this way, at this time?

My Mom always told me to consider the source before responding. When someone fires me up where I feel the need to respond in a "less than kind manner" I have to think about the following things;

a) Is what the person said true?
b) Is this person someone I trust or respect or has earned the right to be heard?
c) Is the person requesting engagement?
d) If all the above answers are yes, is my rebuttal well thought out and researched (backed with facts)?
e) If all the above answers are no, then you need to take a couple of deep breaths and move on. The person obviously is just looking to make noise.

As a Social Media Manager, I have the task of reviewing peoples comments on many different platforms for several different industries. I have observed "unbeneficial" speech on social media, tv, radio, nearly every outlet and always ask myself, do they think about what they are saying/writing before they hit enter? 

I have also witnessed beneficial speech that helped products, processes and services become improved and perfected.

We choose what we want to do with or words.

So let me answer my own question. Why am I voicing my opinion to this person/audience, in this way, at this time?


A very dear young woman I know was "verbally" beaten up on Facebook for an opinion someone didn't like. I am writing this to people who also are observing this and are frustrated but willing to seek better ways to communicate. I am choosing my blog because those that are reading it have chosen to come here and in some cases have read my material before. I truly hope I have earned my right to be heard with you. Why now? Because I think we can all agree people have not been speaking as kindly to each other as they once would have. There is NO time to wait. 

In my response to this young lady, my friend,  I realized how often "verbal" abuse happens and the impact we are now making on each other. I will leave you with a copy of a portion of my response to her and you;

"Hey lady. I saw the post and while I strongly disagreed with the person it reminded me of how much unsolicited commentary is given from behind blank screens and what a task we all have to wade through so much data and choose how to process it. It's like sorting junk mail every second of the day. My loving unsolicited advice is TRY not to get bogged down under piles of other peoples issues."

I leave you with my loving unsolicited advice. The next conversation you have today, try to remember to consider;

Is this the right time, right place or right person or group to share your opinions, advice or wisdom with?

Think Twice, Speak Wisely or NOT AT ALL. Wisdom doesn't seek to wound.

Sincerely,
Kym Lamb

Best Results Of A Worst Case Scenario

My daughter is pretty wise...she is also beautiful, funny and a wonderful singer but it was her observation of a very scary situation that helped me catch my breath last Friday.

Friday evening, after attending a memorial service for my daughter's friend's mother, we were headed back home. Talking through emotions, singing to a favorite disc, enjoying sharing space and time when a semi-pulled out in front of us...Locked brakes, held breath, fish tailing and Thank you God for the extra berm and missing guard rail...it was over.

"Mom, that was the best result of a worse case scenario." My daughter interjected.

Did I mention she is 12. Not 40. Not 80. . . 12

She was encouraging me!

We both took a deep breath. Thanked God for his protection. And headed back down the road.

How many times do we experience the Best Results of a Worse Case Scenario? How do we choose to respond?

Later in the weekend my husband and I celebrated our 18th Wedding Anniversary with our annual date night.

The restaurant was unusually busy for 4:30 but we made it to our seats, took at deep breath to appreciate we were both at the same place, at the same time, just us, for the sole purpose of celebrating being together. The waitress was very pleasant and bubbly. We placed our order and started recapping the missed portions of our days.

Over the next hour my appetizer would be served with an extra side of something crunchy, the iceberg wedge salad was actually frozen, my ribeye was really "well" done and my husband's salmon raw enough to almost swim upstream.

And we made the Best Result out of a Worse Case Scenario. . .it has been a long time since I have laughed that hard. My apologies to the people sitting around me as I am sure I was probably snorting.

You see, my husband and I have a history of Making the best out of Worst case scenarios.

Our wedding reception included knocked over pillars and the emergency squad. Our honeymoon cruise was detoured due to 3 tropical storms and a hurricane. . .and so many more worst case scenarios that have provided me with some of the best memories of my life.

I can't image life any other way.

Now go make the best our of your worst case scenarios!

Learning to Trust Your Tether

Yesterday my family went on a new adventure.

We found a great local Aeriel challenge course. (MohicanAdventures)

Simple enough, we climbed the stairs, were suited up in our harness, helmets and gloves and received our “How To” lesson and off we went.

The kids tore off through the first challenge before I could even look up.

My husband and I approached the obstacles with a little more concern, realizing we weren’t kids anymore and wanted to be able to move in the morning. It seemed the taller and heavier you were the more difficult it was to navigate the course. But I guess extra baggage makes every trip a bit more laborious.

Dave and I considered how to best approach each task as we see and hear the kids racing below us to the next course.

I look at my husband wondering why it seemed like it was taking us so much longer.

At one point Dave and I switched positions and I realized how intimidating it was stepping on to the rope, or platform or swing. You know it is always easier to encourage someone when they are going first...

Through each obstacle I tried to observe the person in front of me. The staff would give you suggestions and hints if you got stuck (and yes it is possible to get stuck). Gravity, fear and frustration can do interesting things to the body. I realized how weak my core was...and my grip and my legs...but mostly I wanted to know how to do something before I had ever done it. How much sense does that make?

At one point, my youngest yells, “Mom, do you want to know the best way to do that one?” Uh, Yes! Absolutely,  I was tiring and only half-way through this maze. He said, “just sit down Mom, and zip across.” O.K. sounds easy enough but that means I have to let go of ropes, hand grips and logic...

And it worked! And it was fun! I was learning to trust my tether.

On my last course I was behind a sweet family of 3. Mom, Dad and their10 year old son. Throughout the challenges, there were places you could choose the hard or “less hard” path. Dad had gone the more challenging route a realized he could not complete it. As he was helped down the escape route, Mom received the task of directing her son through the rest of the course.

She and I chit-chatted along the challenges and I found myself encouraging her and sharing the bits of knowledge that had been given to me throughout the day. She appreciated the help and I found it was easier to make it through the challenges helping someone else. 

Our final task was to navigate a rope wall to the ground. The Mom asked me how to get started. I responded, “trust your tether”. She sat back and relaxed and mentioned how much easier it was.

Honestly, I think I needed to hear my own advice more than my new friend did.

Trust your Tether Kym. You can lose your footing, drop your grip, run out of steam but your tether will always hold. Thank you Lord for being my Tether.

The Sky Poem

The Sky

Ever-changing, drifting, swaying

Cloud-filled, moon-filled,waxing, waning

Ceiling high or ceiling low -

Childish winds play to and fro

Guided by the season's will,

Sometimes warmed and sometimes chilled,

Farmer's friend and Farmer's foe

Determines when it's time to grow.

Kym Lamb

Horizon's Cover Poem

Morning peers above Horizon's cover.
Stretching her radiance over the day.
Removing darkness and shadows,
She warms the Earth with her presence until;
Dusk calls and she begins her descent,
Pulling down evenings shades,
Retiring once again to Horizon's cover.

Kym Lamb

Speculation + Too Much Information = Paralysis

I have decided that sometimes too much is simply too much!STOP!!!!!

In our ongoing adventure to get back home, I have researched, downloaded, called, emailed, Facebooked, Tweeted, read, said and prayed for a resolution.

I have thought in the the box,out of the box around the box...but what I really want is more DOING.

I mentioned in one of my phone conversations that I am not one to take a sledge hammer to a nail hole but I really feel that a little sweat would make me feel a lot better than all the hot air I am exchanging.

We finally found someone to do some testing to help us determine how to proceed. It is another 7 day wait, taking another week off our goal of being home before school, but I am aware no one else is running on the same timetable I am.

But we must remove SPECULATION! This is an ugly word that can make the proverbial mountain of out the mole hill.

Like most people during a time of chaos, my mind has taken the mad dash from bad scenarios to horrendous images of how our Toxic House will impact us. It is important, however, to make a reality check:

We are feeling better- check!
We have a place to stay - check!
We have food in our bellies - check!
We have jobs - check!

Even in our circumstances we have more than most of the people in this world.

Our new drive to church gives us time to talk as a family. Our conversations on this drive often focus on the clouds in the sky. What they look like? What we think they are? Does it look like rain? How can they block the sun?

My devotional kept with this theme as it asked "Can you see Jesus in Your Clouds?" (Day 29- The Utmost For His Highest).

"Clouds are the sorrows, sufferings, or providential circumstances, within or without our personal lives, which actually seem to contradict the sovereignty of God. Yet it is through these very clouds that the Spirit of God is teaching us how to walk by faith. If there were never any clouds in our lives, we would have no faith."

One thing about a Midwestern sky is it's ability to go from sunny to stormy and back to sunny in the blink of an eye ;0)

Waiting for our sunny day...Kym

Count It All As Joy

Can I be frustrated, when I count it all as joy?
Can I be angry, when I count it all as joy?
Can I be sad, when I count it all as joy?
Can I be scared, when I count it call as joy?

I certainly believe so. The key is counting it all as joy after you work through the emotion of your crisis.

As we have been trying to navigate our Toxic House situation, it has been difficult to accept the tortoise pace and the perceived lack of response.

I understand that our house is NOT their house. They are going home to a a place that their children can breath free. Where they can sit down at their dinner table and lay their heads down on their pillows with our worry. My problems are not their problems.

As a business owner, I understand the time versus income dilemma. I have the same 24 hours in a day as everyone else. I pray though, that I have always provided my clients with hope and direction when I was not their best choice.

I am not loud or nasty. I will not demand or force my situation on others but instead continue to communicate our need and trust that somehow, in someway we will once again have a place to call home.

I was encourage by the following quote from "My Utmost for His Highest" July 28:

"If I can stay calm, faithful, and unconfused while in the middle of the turmoil of life, the goal of the purpose of God is being accomplished in me. God is not working toward a particular finish— His purpose is the process itself. What He desires for me is that I see “Him walking on the sea” with no shore, no success, nor goal in sight, but simply having the absolute certainty that everything is all right because I see “Him walking on the sea” (Mark 6:49). It is the process, not the outcome, that is glorifying to God."

Joy#1: God...