The 3 Stooges: Perception, Assumption and Lack of Communication

I started this blog the day after Christmas and decided it wasn't cheery enough. I thought I should wait to send it at a more appropriate time...but when is the most appropriate time to remind each other that what we perceive to be right, assume to be correct and refuse to talk about are the exact issues that we should be focusing on!

So what is wrong with perception, assumptions and lack of communication?

They are community destroyers!

Whether you are talking about your home, office or even church, when any of these three stooges rear it's ugly head, trouble is inevitable.

When we focus on ourselves and stop considering the wisdom and experience of others we lose the benefits of community and stop our own growth.

Perception Is A Wonderful Tool

The dictionary describes it as:

per·cep·tion/pərˈsepSHən/

Noun:

The ability to see, hear, or become aware of something through the senses. The state of being or process of becoming aware of something in such a way.

Remember though that perception comes from your senses. And have your senses ever been off?

• Had a cold and couldn't smell...
• Forgot your glasses...
• Only heard part of the conversation...

So while I encourage people to be perceptive, do not forget that you have blindspots. Always be willing to let others fill in the blanks you may have missed or provide wisdom you have not gained yet.

Assumptions...Do I really need to say anything else?

A-S-S-U-M-E makes a you know what out of U and Me.

This is one of those acronyms that I only needed to hear once to get it. Do not assume anything...ever!

A good friend always reminds me, "In God we Trust, everyone else needs facts."

This is where the final stooge must be dodged.

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate!

So I hear you, you are saying I am not a communicator. I am not good with words. So, practice or find someone who compliments your weaknesses.

You do not have to be a professional speaker to express your self and it doesn't take a classical writer to let someone know your expectations. Do it your way...just do it!

I have a new client that is direct, to the point and NOT a fan of writing. She wants to say what is needed and move on.

We have agreed that she talks, I write it down.

She is wonderfully descriptive when she is excited about what she wants to share. Just don't make her write it, or her passion turns into pain. We have communicated the strengths and weaknesses and have created a plan to accomplish our goal. . .together.

"The common denominator to all success and happiness is other people." Les Giblin

This quote comes from Les Giblin's book How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing With People. It goes on to state that if you..."learn to deal with other people, you will have gone 85% of the way down the road to success in any business, occupation, or profession, and about 99% of the way down the road to personal happiness."

Adios Three Stooges...hello success and happiness!

Now go communicate,
Kym Lamb

Look To The Horizon

Have you ever been on a boat when the water and the craft were not in agreement?

Any wise sailor tells you to look to the horizon to keep the external chaos from causing internal chaos...(which if not resolved creates more external chaos if you understand what I mean.)

They also advise you not to go below deck and try not to focus on anything that your mind is expecting to be stable. For example reading a book or anything that requires constant focus.

A very intersting solution I found was to steer the boat (like driving a car) helps keep your mind off motion sickness and temporarily stops symptoms.

Testing The Theory

My husband and I had the opportunity to test this theory several years ago. We had taken a day trip to the Bahamas and on the journey a couple of storms found our path.

My husband immediately took the Dramamine, gave me a peck on the cheek and said I'll see you in a few hours...goodnight.

I didn't want to miss the adventure! Even as the dishes crashed off the shelves and the long standing crew started turning green. . .I decided to endure the experience.

The stage show was canceled and the ballroom turned into a triage for all the sea sick passengers. Finally, feeling a little tested myself, I headed for the deck. . .so does this horizon thing really work?

Yes. Changing my focus and removing myself from the details of the situation helped me to remember that the cruise would end. There would be a port to dock in. This was just a temporary situation.

As I returned to the ballroom to check on my husband I thought about taking the Dramamine and joining my husband in "Dreamland". . .then I witnessed a small child give into her sore tummy all over her father. The man's face said it all. . .I spent the rest of the trip providing barf bags, blankets and hopefully comfort to other people on the journey with me.

I decided to steer my ship. . .

Happy Navigating,
Kym

Can You See What I See?

Through a Facebook post today I was able to catch up with a grade school friend.

Emily was the first person whose Mom actually encouraged us to draw on her bedroom wall.

On that wall I learned the freedom to express myself. Emily taught me how to draw my first "eye". How ironic that the person who taught me how to "see" would also be the person who taught me this technique.

I recall these memories often with my daughter (the budding artist).

The fondest memory I have with Emily was a "simple" project in art.

The instructions were to "draw the plant". Much like the one you see in the picture above.

As I received my grade I heard the teacher telling Emily that she did not complete the project...I don't remember the grade she was given but I remember the image she had drawn...

It was the most detailed section of the plant that she saw...while it didn't match the teacher's expectations it surpassed anything the rest of us had done.

I loved that Emily enjoyed seeing the world through a different perspective and dared others to try also.

I thank her for teaching me to view life from many different angles.

I was not shocked to find out Emily Wilde is the Owner of Total Arts Gallery in, New Mexico.

Choose to see the Exceptional Today,
Kym

FEAR Stinks!

I was reminded this week that for all the books I have read, classes I have attended and certifications I have obtained. . .I can not avoid FEAR and that stinks!

A friend posted this comment when I mentioned my frustration on Facebook:

"Fear only grows when not addressed. False. . . Expectations. . . Appearing. . . Real"

While I knew this to be true. . .had even posted this on other friends walls when they were frustrated, I wanted to be exempt.

The visit to the doctor was very real, the lump was very real, the tests were very real. The 3 hours between visit one and visit two were real. . .but what were my expectations?

Did I expect cancer, did I expect nothing? I did not know what to expect. I hadn't been down this path before.

How did this appear to me? This is when I called in reinforcements. A few days ago I wrote about Learning to Ride the Roller Coaster Alone. This was NOT one of those times.

I needed to know how this appeared to others who may have been down this path or those that understood why I would need a friend for the journey. I was looking for wise council. . . and I got it.

And that was when I truly saw REALITY. . .

The lump...nothing to worry about, tests were good!

But the results of recognizing my FEAR, taking action through it and seeing who is willing to stand with me through the FEARS. in life is unmeasurable.

You can not see this blessing without first experiencing the FEAR.

My Dad use to tell me FEAR was good as long as it didn't paralyze me. It would alert me to possible danger. Sometimes. . . that danger is my own mind.

I want to leave you with this final quote:

"COURAGE is the moment right after FEAR!"

Go be courageous!
Kym

Because Perfect Isn't Always Perfect

O.K. all the ornaments are geometrically positioned. The ribbon is exactly the same distance from the next strip in a downward spherical pattern. There are 1000 lights, all working, placed in multiple depths to cast a warm glow on every . . .single. . . pine needle. . .and yes! It passed the squint test.

But is it really perfect?

We, or should I say, I, broke tradition this year...well, I guess you can't really call it a tradition. It was more like a well controlled, systematic process I put my family through.

1) Husband gets tree down from attic. ( Finds couch to watch T.V.)
2) Kids begin ripping into boxes and putting everything up.
3) Mom stops the chaos and begins to explain the proper way to apply lights, ornaments. . .
4) Kids leave
5) Mom spends several hours completing the process.


I Love Process

I really do appreciate the comfort in repetition, process and tradition. But what if the process was broken or didn't work for everyone? Would you be willing to change it? Would you even see that change was needed?

Thank you to my husband for admitting he has no idea what my tradition was. I was frustrated that he had let the kids have a free for all, and as I removed the 3 bush lights from the tree, I mentioned that he knew "the tradition" was that I always used. . .and he said,

" No,really I don't know THE tradition".

So, I stopped, sat back and watched everyone wait for my direction. . .and incorrect, incomplete, unrewarding set of instructions to complete a task they didn't even want to do.

Decorating the Christmas Tree is NOT ABOUT APPLIED DISCIPLINE!

I looked into the hands of my children, and each one had "their" ornaments, they were eagerly waiting to hang up; their baby's 1st trinkets, annual pictures, favorite school crafts. . .handmade ornaments that had been passed down. . .and finally the Snoopy globe.

And then there was the "Boy's Tree" this year. They had decided to have a race that they could get theirs up and decorated before my daughter and I finished the big one. . .And Dad helped!

Mom. . .Can we decorate our rooms?

As I thought of all the reasons that wanted to spew out of my mouth, "your room is already a mess", "electric lights cost money". . .I decided to zip it!

I said,

"SURE! Go Ahead!"

But is it really perfect?

Is my house decorated perfectly? Yes. Because it has been carefully decorated by the people in my life that bring me the most joy. It has been sprinkled with a type of fairy dust only produced when LOVE IS PRESENT!


Merry Christmas! Now Go Enjoy The Season!

Kym

Growth Means Learning to Ride the Rollercoaster Alone Sometimes

Last night during a speaking engagement at the MOCA House in Wooster,Ohio , I was asked to talk about a comment I made about "learning to ride the roller coaster alone".

I love that my life has been very much like a roller coaster! Wonderful highs and a couple of low lows to help me appreciate the highs.

The last 6 years have even introduced a few loop de loops . . . and I realized that some of the passengers (family, friends, loved ones) may need to get off and rest.

As part of my growth, I have challenged myself to take rides in the front seat, by myself, with my hands stretched into the air. . .

But it has taken quite a while to get here.

I started on a small hill, made sure there was a safety bar and kept the ride short! I had someone waiting for me at the end of the ride and then I rested before I tried again.

I am learning to respect that other people may be on their own roller coasters. There hill may be steeper and their ride longer. I try to reserve my riders for the coasters I am uncertain of.

In the past I have even asked people to take rides on coasters that haven't been built yet. (Ever worry about something that could happen???)

I am pleased that now I even check to see if the person riding with me is ready to ride. You wouldn't put a 2 year old child in a seat that was too big or that didn't have the appropriate safety harness. And I give them the option get off if they are not ready.

I also recognize that some days...I will choose the kiddy coaster with my best friend.

Whatever coaster you may be riding I encourage you to continue to reach a little higher and ride a little longer!

Living Well,
Kym

Not Through My Eyes But Yours

"Treat others as you want to be treated."

As a motivational wellness coach...I question this statement.

Now don't panic...I am NOT saying DUMP the Golden Rule...I am saying let's polish it a little bit...

"Treat others as THEY want to be treated."

This requires a higher commitment to your relationships... including the relationship with yourself.

This will mean taking the time to learn a little about yourself. How do you act and react to other personalities?

This also means taking the time to learn about other people. You may already know about your personality quirks...but do you know about other personalities?

Considering 2 of the 4 major personality types are NOT people fans...this will be a challenge for many of you. And it will require practice.

Developing the ability to see the world through another person's glasses...instead of trying to put blinders on our own...may just be the key to bring all of our lives into focus.

What Ingredient Are You?

This idea originated from a mentor's (Lori Biddle) blog post titled "Ingredients".

Her post made me wonder what ingredient or item I would be at Thanksgiving Dinner...

Would I be the Turkey? In the center of attention, perfectly dressed with a gorgeous tan...

Maybe the stuffing? Intentionally hidden, but filled with morsels of deliciously secret ingredients...

Or am I the canned cranberry sauce? Plopped on a plate wiggling and jiggling waiting for that one person who loves me to enjoy my presence.

Maybe...I am the mashed potatoes that you have to peel and soften and season a little to enjoy my worth.

I very well could be the fresh green beans...full of nutrients, crisp and healthy and good for you and ...so NOT getting eaten or appreciated on Thanksgiving!

Who wouldn't want to be the pumpkin pie? The old family recipe, passed down from generation to generation, waited for, wished for, dreamt about, the talk of the meal! Don't forget the hand whipped cream...please!!!

Whatever Ingredient you will be this year...be there, be present, and enjoy your own uniqueness.

Whatever ingredient you would have been in the past is NOT the ingredient you have to bring this year.

Remember:

We are all ingredients, put together just so, in a way only the Master Chef can, to create a meal that satisfies all!

Lori...Thank you for the spark!

"Blow the Rest Away"

To know me is to love me....we'll maybe not...but while I am growing please be kind enough to "blow the rest away"...

This thought comes from a poem by Dinah Maria Mulock Craik describing the joy when a friend truly listens:

"Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, put pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away."

Do we know how to blow another's chaff away? Do we spend more time focusing on their faults...or helping them build up their strength...How do you want people to let you make mistakes? ...and do you want to grow?

My friends know me, love me and push me....my enemies just push me...and yet I learn and grow from both.

I am Thankful for all!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone....

Kym

Someone Has To Start The Ripple

"Be The Change You Want To See In The World" Gandhi

I do not like to feel uncomfortable...I do not like to be the person making others feel uncomfortable...but I want to see the ripples of change spread.

So that means, someone has to move. Someone has to dislike their current position more than they dislike the thought of change.

So who will you move for? Yourself, your spouse, your children....their children?

How Do We Get To Tomorrow's Dreams?

"Tomorrow's dreams start with today's decisions !" Raylean McNamara

PAUSE....PAUSE....PAUSE

This post has set in my DRAFT for several days because I didn't have the courage to share it...then today, a great friend ask me a tough question:

What is your passion Kym?

Those that know me, would expect a full page dissertation on this subject. But really I can sum it up in two words:

CHANGED LIVES

My heart pumps when I am being a part of transformation...in myself and others. I fully comprehend the impact of a minor adjustment creating a major impact...and being community minded I know that growth in one is growth for all!

Imagine what a teacher feels when a student finally gets it. You watch them struggle...but when that light bulb goes on and they believe and their struggle has become victory...their path is now visible.

Or when your child takes off on the bike, after falling down, crashing into the mailbox or the neighbors dog... without the training wheels...or you holding on...

But I realize I am not THE expert...

I am another student and an encourager! Who knows the benefit of someone seeing your "blindspot". I continually seek wisdom and knowledge, but I only have my perspective. It becomes refreshing to another set of eyes to see what you can't see...

In my devotion today I was encouraged:

Why would you not invest in growing your own character? What one step will you take today to invest in your growth toward Christ-like character? (source: http://purposedriven.com/blogs/dailyhope/index.html?contentid=9294)

And at the end of the day....my passion...my focus is to improve myself and in doing so help others improve their lives!

The journey isn't easy but it is worth it! Are you willing to start the journey?

If you said yes? Than contact me and let's grow together! Click here to contact me.

PS I want to give you a tool to help you start to change until we can speak...It is called a PDCA. I can not take credit for creating it. It is from one of my wise team members.

Plan -Do- Check- Adjust

Do you have a plan to get to that dream? What are you willing to do TODAY to move you toward that Dream? Are you checking along the way that the plan is working...do you have mentors (family, friends, associates) to give you wise counsel along the way? Are you able to adjust when the plan doesn't work....or do you let it derail you?

Not sure how to begin?

Neither was I - so I became part of a TEAM.

There Is NOT Just Black and White

Yesterday, by listening to a friend...I learned a lesson.

Life is NOT Black and White and that is a good thing! (Now...no laughing if you are someone who already knew this lesson.)

I know when I look out in the world there are amazing colors. But I have developed a bad habit of turning the color off when I can't see past myself.



My friend explained that for part of her life... things were good or bad and the two could not exist at the same time. If someone was her friend, they were her friend. But if they hurt her they were her enemy. There wasn't a consideration of personal perception, or the allowance of a person being in progress. Just the raw emotion of being hurt...and her understanding "I can't be loved , but have someone dislike my behavior at the same time."

How many of us do this?

How many of us do not know how to be in progress or let others be in progress...

I tend to bit a bit of a perfectionist. Because of this I do not truly appreciate my growth. I want to be patient---all the time. I want to be courageous---all the time. I never want to let anyone down...and when I fail at one of these things, I forget all of the times I have been patient, or courageous or available...I am in progress.

Funny thing is... I encourage others to be in progress and love helping and watching people grow.

I have another friend who is so wonderfully confident in her path. She has wisdom and knowledge and her goal for life is to help others reach their full potential...then she has to deal with me, who is in progress...who is seeking wisdom, who is seeking knowledge but who isn't as confident...YET and she encourages me to keeping improving. She doesn't let me stand in my own way.

...And we both are learning because of the process ;0)

She doesn't let me turn off the colors!

Why I Need A TEAM for LIFE

You know we all do...

We were not meant to do life alone...however, we all seem to try it at one time or another.

So let me ask you, how is that working for you?

I don't mean this in a flippant "I know better than you way" but in a transparent, "I know how it feels...how can I help you way".

How can we help each other?

I have spent a good deal of time studying personalities...especially my own ;0) And there are a few foundations that we all need to have set in our lives...and one of them, probably one of the most important is: COMMUNITY


Now don't get caught on up in WORDS...some of you will shut down because you have had a bad experience with a COMMUNITY...so, you pick whatever word means:

"a group of honest, ambitious, hard working, loyal people who are willing to grow together and commit to a common goal greater than each can achieve alone!"

Maybe you don't have a word for that...maybe you can't even envision that...but it is possible.

Our history is full of small groups of people who have come together to make a difference in each others' lives and by doing so changed the world...

Am I thinking too big? Are you saying "that was then and this is now" or "I don't have time" or " I can't"

Are you willing to grow with others and let others grow you? Are you teachable?

"Accept that we don't know what we don't know....but NEVER except that you can't learn!"

I told you I was fired up! Are you interested in learning more? I am.

Grow The Action Habit

Welcome back everyone! Been quite a while and I will fill you all in with life details later because right I am too FIRED UP! with information to share with you.

FEAR FEAR FEAR FEAR FEAR

Good! Now that we are done talking about it. Let's get moving.

I have been blessed to be introduced to a local group of leaders...who have been so gracious to share their time, knowledge, tools with me.

I would like to share with you a piece of information...really, let's call it REVELATION.

Now don't go clicking away because you think I'm going "Bible" on you... I am referring to 1b noted in red below. ;0)

rev·e·la·tion (rv-lshn)

n.

1.

a. The act of revealing or disclosing.

b. Something revealed, especially a dramatic disclosure of something not previously known or realized.

2. Theology A manifestation of divine will or truth.

3. Revelation Abbr. Rev. or Rv. Bible See Table at Bible.

Here it goes:

Action feeds and strengthens confidence; inaction in all forms feeds fear. To fight fear, ACT. (pg 221 The Magic of Thinking Big)

Ok. If you are a Firefighter...you may click away. Not sure what I mean by Firefighter?

A firefighter is the person always trying to put someone else's fire out. You know who they are:

"You'll never do it!"
"You're wasting your time!"
"You can't change the world!"

All Firefighters may leave the room now.

I want to be around firelighters! Those people that want to have significance...not just success! These are the people that Define what they want to accomplish, Learn how to do it, then Do it! They are NOT defined by life.

So maybe you already knew this? Maybe this is not a revelation to you...maybe you get this. If so, who are you sharing your success with?

Here are 7 Actions Steps I am introducing to my life and I hope you adopt in yours:

• Be an activationist,Be someone who does things. Be a doer not a don't-er.
• Don't wait until conditions are perfect. They never will be. Expect future obstacles and difficulties and solve them as they arise.
• Remember ideas alone will not bring success. Ideas have value only when you act upon them.
• Use action to sure fear an gain confidence. Do what you fear an the fear disappears. Just try it and see.
• Start your mental engine mechanically.Don't wait for the spirit to move you. Take action, dig in,and you move the spirit.
• Think in terms of now. Tomorrow, next week,later and similar words are synonymous with the failure word, never. Be an "I'm starting right now" kind of person.
• Seize the initiative. Be a crusader. Pick up the ball and run. Be a volunteer. Show that you have the ability and ambition to do.

Let me leave you with this thought:

What you don't know...you don't know. But don't go claiming ignorance once you have heard it! by Kym Lamb

Now go make a difference!

Love & Respect,
Kym

Our Hope For You

As of Today...

Dave and I have completed the 21 day Standard Process Purification, 30 Day Post Purification and are choosing to continue a life style of wellness.

We celebrated our 13th Wedding Anniversary yesterday knowing that our new choices mean there will be many more years to celebrate.

Dave has a clean bill of health! Those of you that have been following our process know that Blood Pressure, Diabetes and Cholesterol had become too real...The post purification blood test, according to our doctor, show him "disgustingly healthy" .

My toxicity levels have all come down from the 90's to normal in all but a few items and they are in the 60's. I am able to swallow again and the pain in my head is gone.

We both are continuing to lose weight, inches and years! We now get up at 5:45am to work out and encourage each other to make great choices. Our children or enjoying the new energized "us". We have more patience, endurance and desire to be great parents.

We realized that it was easier to choose wellness that to continue to navigate illness!

Our hope for you is that you hear our story and choose to make conversions in your own life...clean water, whole foods, movement, great relationships. We have been blessed and want to share those blessings with you.

You are worth it! Your loved ones are worth it!

If you are interested in learning more about this purification process and to find a doctor in your area click here.

Be Well!

Kym & Dave Lamb