Thursday, November 10, 2016

Measure Twice Cut Once Or Maybe Not At All

There is a construction term that says:

Measure Twice, Cut Once


The plan is to take the extra effort in the planning phase so you don't have to risk making multiple cuts or possibly destroying something that can not be easily repaired.

I suggest we adapt this sage advice as follows:

Think Twice, Speak Wisely or NOT AT ALL.

You/We have a right to freedom of speech but we DO NOT have the right to intentionally destroy others.

I challenge you to sincerely think and think again about the intentions of your words.

Consider this question?

Why am I voicing my opinion to this person/audience, in this way, at this time?

My Mom always told me to consider the source before responding. When someone fires me up where I feel the need to respond in a "less than kind manner" I have to think about the following things;

a) Is what the person said true?
b) Is this person someone I trust or respect or has earned the right to be heard?
c) Is the person requesting engagement?
d) If all the above answers are yes, is my rebuttal well thought out and researched (backed with facts)?
e) If all the above answers are no, then you need to take a couple of deep breaths and move on. The person obviously is just looking to make noise.

As a Social Media Manager, I have the task of reviewing peoples comments on many different platforms for several different industries. I have observed "unbeneficial" speech on social media, tv, radio, nearly every outlet and always ask myself, do they think about what they are saying/writing before they hit enter? 

I have also witnessed beneficial speech that helped products, processes and services become improved and perfected.

We choose what we want to do with or words.

So let me answer my own question. Why am I voicing my opinion to this person/audience, in this way, at this time?


A very dear young woman I know was "verbally" beaten up on Facebook for an opinion someone didn't like. I am writing this to people who also are observing this and are frustrated but willing to seek better ways to communicate. I am choosing my blog because those that are reading it have chosen to come here and in some cases have read my material before. I truly hope I have earned my right to be heard with you. Why now? Because I think we can all agree people have not been speaking as kindly to each other as they once would have. There is NO time to wait. 

In my response to this young lady, my friend,  I realized how often "verbal" abuse happens and the impact we are now making on each other. I will leave you with a copy of a portion of my response to her and you;

"Hey lady. I saw the post and while I strongly disagreed with the person it reminded me of how much unsolicited commentary is given from behind blank screens and what a task we all have to wade through so much data and choose how to process it. It's like sorting junk mail every second of the day. My loving unsolicited advice is TRY not to get bogged down under piles of other peoples issues."

I leave you with my loving unsolicited advice. The next conversation you have today, try to remember to consider;

Is this the right time, right place or right person or group to share your opinions, advice or wisdom with?

Think Twice, Speak Wisely or NOT AT ALL. Wisdom doesn't seek to wound.


Sincerely,
Kym Lamb

Monday, February 1, 2016

Best Results Of A Worst Case Scenario

My daughter is pretty wise...she is also beautiful, funny and a wonderful singer but it was her observation of a very scary situation that helped me catch my breath last Friday.

Friday evening, after attending a memorial service for my daughter's friend's mother, we were headed back home. Talking through emotions, singing to a favorite disc, enjoying sharing space and time when a semi-pulled out in front of us...Locked brakes, held breath, fish tailing and Thank you God for the extra berm and missing guard rail...it was over.

"Mom, that was the best result of a worse case scenario." My daughter interjected.

Did I mention she is 12. Not 40. Not 80. . . 12

She was encouraging me!

We both took a deep breath. Thanked God for his protection. And headed back down the road.

How many times do we experience the Best Results of a Worse Case Scenario? How do we choose to respond?

Later in the weekend my husband and I celebrated our 18th Wedding Anniversary with our annual date night.

The restaurant was unusually busy for 4:30 but we made it to our seats, took at deep breath to appreciate we were both at the same place, at the same time, just us, for the sole purpose of celebrating being together. The waitress was very pleasant and bubbly. We placed our order and started recapping the missed portions of our days.

Over the next hour my appetizer would be served with an extra side of something crunchy, the iceberg wedge salad was actually frozen, my ribeye was really "well" done and my husband's salmon raw enough to almost swim upstream.

And we made the Best Result out of a Worse Case Scenario. . .it has been a long time since I have laughed that hard. My apologies to the people sitting around me as I am sure I was probably snorting.

You see, my husband and I have a history of Making the best out of Worst case scenarios.

Our wedding reception included knocked over pillars and the emergency squad. Our honeymoon cruise was detoured due to 3 tropical storms and a hurricane. . .and so many more worst case scenarios that have provided me with some of the best memories of my life.

I can't image life any other way.

Now go make the best our of your worst case scenarios!